As I sat nursing my infant son and daughter (twins), I felt a tightness in my chest. An uncomfortable sensation that was kind of like being on alert. Ready for what, I was not quite sure. I didn’t have specific fears, but instead, a general overwhelming oh no kind of feeling. “Things are ok for now but for how long? Something could go wrong so I better be ready.” This is what my anxiety felt like, and how it presented itself after the birth of my twins.
I was experiencing postpartum anxiety, but I did not know it. This specific sensation was new but anxiety for me was not. When I was in middle school I kept Pepto-Bismol in the refrigerator to drink when my stomach was upset which was often. Little did I or my parents know that I was experiencing anxiety. As a little girl, I anxiously chewed on my Barbie dolls feet until I got through to the plastic part inside under the rubber. Knowing what I know now it is not surprising that the birth of my twins triggered bouts of depression and anxiety.
Shortly, after my twins were born, I read the book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk. In it, he describes how research found yoga to be a useful tool to reduce anxiety for people experiencing PTSD. I thought if it could help them maybe it could help me too.
Thank goodness for YouTube and Yoga with Adriene. I started doing yoga for about 20 minutes each night after my kids went to bed. To my shock and pleasant surprise, the tightness in my chest began to release after about one month. It was such a relief I have practiced yoga ever since.
Evidently, not all yoga is created equal. I had found mindfulness-based yoga where the goal is to be present in your body versus fitness or flexibility. Sometimes people ask me, “Are you more flexible or has your practice improved?” (Whatever that means.) The answer is … not really a no even after seven years. I’m not trying to get better at yoga. To me that’s the antithesis of why I do it.
My intention when I practice yoga is to rest and restore. I want to come back into my body, to find safety in my body, and be in the present moment.
Side note: If your jam is to do awesome yoga poses that is cool too. We are all different and need different things. And I’m sure it is possible to get the benefits I’m getting and do awesome poses.
Since those early days of doing yoga at home in my living room at 9 PM, I am grateful to have also found Rest and Restorative yoga classes at a local yoga studio. This yoga truly is for everyone. (Of course, I personally believe all yoga aimed to move in ways that feel comfortable and bring ease and relaxation into your body is for everyone.)
Rest and Restore yoga is extra special because it’s designed to reset your nervous system. You hold a comfortable (no really, it’s actually a comfortable) pose for five minutes or so. I felt truly cared for by the yoga teacher in the Rest and Restore class. She came by and brought a blanket. She adjusted my pillow for maximum coziness and offered essential oil. It was comforting and it did calm my nervous system.
Today I get to Rest and Restore yoga classes, as often as I can. My goal is weekly. When necessary, I modify a Yin Yoga class to be more restorative. (You can always ask your teacher for cues throughout a class to help you achieve what you want and need for your practice.)
If you haven’t tried yoga, and this has piqued your interest, I would highly encourage you to check out a five minute Yoga with Adriene practice on YouTube or do one of her 30 day challenges. It’s designed for beginners and I still prefer it after seven years of practice. My first choice is in person classes, which I’m grateful I can now work into my life and budget.
Thought for the Day
A couple primary symptoms of anxiety are feeling the discomfort of anxiety in our body and being lost in ruminating thoughts about the past or worried thoughts of the future. It is normal to feel overwhelmed by these thoughts and feelings and want to push them away. We push them away in an effort to feel less but as they say whatever we resist persists. Yoga and body movements similar to yoga that integrate mindfulness make our body a safe place to be and invite us to come back home to our body and the present moment.
Quick Win
Check it out: Yoga with Adriene Anxiety Play List on YouTube
(5 to 50 min yoga practices to choose from)
On a laptop you will see the playlist on the right of the first video that pops up.
Are there ways outside of yoga that you find joyful movement in your body and that bring you into the present moment? Are there other Yoga YouTubers you love that I need to share? Please tell me who you love and why.
Thank you so much for listening. Be Well!