It’s often easy to be unaware of our stress levels, how much stress we carry and how it is impacting us. We may feel our stress as a constant source of tension in our bodies, with tight, aching, tired muscles. It might show up as a racing sensation or a heavy weight in our chest. The impact of our stress can also blindside us wherein we don’t realize how stressed we are until we are getting slapped in the face with it.
For years I was not aware that I was highly stressed, overwhelmed, or even exhausted until I found myself yelling at my kids. When my kids were toddlers, and honestly in my life prior to kids, my emotions were like a whirling dervish. Everything felt chaotic and overwhelming. Imagine being tossed into a riptide, finding yourself underwater, getting pulled further down by the current, unsure which way to the surface, or which way to land. I couldn’t find my way out of the big emotional turmoil. I did not know how to get a gasp of air or which way led to land to escape the emotional riptide. My mind, and body would flood with panic. I had no idea how I got there or how to find my way out. Only that I was there again, flooded with overwhelming thoughts and emotions.
When I began using mindful meditation, it felt like the whole scene began to slow down, matrix style. I would still get triggered, then flooded with emotion, but a part of me was able to be an observer and recognize, “I am flooded again.” This observer part of me could ask, “What’s happening that got me here? What do I need?” The emotions still felt overwhelming and big. It was still painful and upsetting. But I had gained a tiny bit of space which grew over time and offered a little perspective in my most difficult, overwhelming and trying moments.
I would find myself being tossed around in the riptide underwater, and a little part of me with perspective could say, “It’s this way to the surface.” “The land is that way.” It didn’t take away the big emotions, or change the situation that got me there but I was a little more oriented IN the big emotions.
It’s crazy how sitting and focusing on our breath for 30 minutes can, overtime, translate into calming our nervous system, being more mindful, and having perspective in our lives. It almost seems too good to be true. In desperation, I gave meditation a shot, and I’m grateful I did. It’s brought peace and awareness into my world by slowing down my inner turmoil.
The mindfulness that I gained through my meditation practice makes it easier to take a step back and get curious about my stress level and stressors. This is possible for you too. The awareness of being hijacked by your emotions can support you in making conscious choices to help you manage your stress and the situation versus falling into habitual reactions that may unintentionally escalate the situation.
Quick win
Give meditation a try! My favorite mediation app is 10% Happier. They have lots of different mediation teachers and mediations. You can start small by building a habit with a five minute meditation.
Create a routine by choosing the same time of day to try out meditating. My favorite time of day is the last thing before I fall asleep. The lights are out. I’m sitting up in bed with my headphones in. I meditate for 5 min to 30 min depending on how tired I am or how late it is. I usually take Sat and Sun off, because – balance.
Email or DM me and let me know your favorite mediation app or favorite time to mediate.
I have a free gift for you, our 4 step Guided Pause & Regroup, a free audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created this Guided Pause & Regroup because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting.
Thank you so much for listening. Be Well!
A reminder
This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity.
I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area.