5 MINUTE RAGE BREAK
4 steps to pause and regroup when it's taking
everything you have not to lose it with your kids.
PMSS
(It had to be PMS didn’t it, F***ing PMS)
- Pause (Pause, close your mouth, and walk away)
- Move Your Body (Let the anger move through your body)
- Shift Your Thoughts (Distract your brain and challenge your thinking)
- Self-Compassion (You are Normal & You are Not Alone! All Mom’s get angry & yell!)
Scroll Down To Download The Rage Break Audio & Video
Pause
(Hit pause, close your mouth, and walk away)
The best way to stop yelling is to stop yelling, the best time is any time.
If you cannot catch yourself before you yell you are normal. Whenever you are able to catch yourself is the perfect time to pause.
Move Your Body
(Let the anger move through your body)
Push against a wall - while making a guttural growl
Wring a towel in your hands
Scream into a pillow (no words, just sound)
Breath in - tighten all your muscles head to toe, clenched fists, scrunched face and shoulders, hold for 5 sec, audibly sigh-it-out
Jumping jacks or push-ups until your body can’t do another
Dance – put on some music, maybe angry music and dance until you sweat or until you collapse in exhaustion
Instead of trying to stop being angry, let the anger move through your body in a way that is healthy and does not hurt anyone.
Your adrenaline is pumping. Giving your body space to move will help your body begin to shift out of fight or flight.
Anger is a normal natural emotion just like any other, it is 100% ok to be angry, you are just trying to shift what happens next.
Shift your thoughts
(Distract your brain and challenge your thinking)
Remind your triggered brain, “This is NOT an emergency.”
Call or text a friend you trust.
Watch a funny show, video clips, listen to a funny podcast, or play a game on your phone.
Check in – is your brain stuck in angry thoughts, i.e. “My children/child is terrible.” Challenge that thought – Is my child really terrible or are they having terrible behavior right now?
Your brain is telling you this is an EMERGENCY! YOU MUST ACT NOW!
Unless you believe you need to call 911, this is not an emergency.
Help your flooded brain shift with distraction by something/anything else, bonus if it's funny.
Challenge Your Thinking
Angry thoughts keep us in fight mode and fuel the fire. We can help our brain shift by challenging these unhelpful thoughts.
“My kid is an ungrateful brat.” Challenge: “Is it true that my child is an ungrateful brat or is it possible they are tired, hungry, or having a bad day (much like I am)?
Self-compassion
“It is normal and reasonable to be angry in this situation. Most Mom’s would be angry.”
As angry thoughts are beginning to slow those spaces might quickly be filled with self- critical thoughts. “What is wrong with me? Why do I get so angry? Why can’t I stop yelling?”
Self-compassion is shifting from critical self-talk to reminding yourself you are actually quite normal and definitely not alone in how you are feeling or reacting to the situation.
Bonus Tip
Give yourself permission to wait as long as you need to address your child’s behavior (if needed at all). No need to re-engage as soon as you walk back in the room.
You may want to shift into a new activity with your kids, let them play on their own or watch a screen for a while to help your brain continue to shit out of fight or flight. (It takes a minimum of 20 min for our brain to shift out of fight or flight.
If your kids are little and they are needing to reconnect with you, turn on music you love and dance with them.
Rage Break Hot Tips
- Only call or text someone you trust will be a supportive listener. Outside judgment and advice is NOT ALOUD! Tell your friend or partner you might be calling or texting when you are in the thick of it. Leave them a VM (yell, cry, scream). If they know ahead of time, they will not be freaked out and will be more likely to respond supportively.
- Send your friend or partner angry emojis to vent – I loved to find the funniest emojis that expressed exactly how I was feeling inside. Looking through them was both distracting and humorous. I didn’t even need to type what was happening or why I was angry, the emojis said it all.
- Give yourself permission to wait as long as you need to address your child’s behavior (if needed at all). No need to re-engage as soon as you walk back in the room.
- Bookmark the audio link and save it on the homepage of your phone so you can easily find it when you need it.